Thursday, November 19, 2015

"When are ya'll going to have a baby?"

"When are ya'll going to have a baby?"

Ohhhh, so that's what happens after marriage? We must have forgot! <insert sarcasm>

I can't tell you how much I despise this question. I hate it. I fear it.

Only some close friends even know that we have had babies on the brain for the last 16 months or so. We are very hesitant about who we let in on our "secret" of  ttc. We haven't told any of our family. Infertility is not something that people talk about casually. It's a tough subject, especially for the couple in their season of waiting. Why? Because pity comes sneaking in and the gossip starts. If our family did know, they would always be on the edge of their seats for that pregnancy news, which means more guilt each passing month for us. There would be no surprises of a baby. So, people without knowing our situation ask us 30 times a day about babies. What do you say? I feel like each time I answer that question they can see the lie across my forehead. I want to scream WE ARE TRYING! Medications. Shots. Procedures. All of it. We are trying! But I can't.

People that have had no trouble having kids may see nothing wrong with that question, but with me- it makes me want to crawl in a hole. Just stop with all of the personal questions already!

Rant from a girl on Clomid. :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Clomid Round 2

Another month has come and gone, and still no news of a baby to share with you. As I stated in my last post, I began 50mg of Clomid this past cycle. A week after I was suppose to have ovulated I had a appointment with one of infertility nurses to check my progesterone level. About a week after a woman ovulates her progesterone spikes, which indicates that ovulation did indeed take place. My progesterone level was good, but not up to level she was hoping for since I was on Clomid. She believed that I did ovulate but not on the day we thought I did. On Friday night, another cycle began. Not pregnant.

Today is Day 4 of my cycle and I was scheduled for a ultrasound this morning to make sure there weren't any cysts on my ovaries. My nurse explained that some women while on Clomid produce cysts, and when this happens we would have to take a break on the medication for a month or two. Praise Jesus for no cysts!!! Round 2 of Clomid starts today, except this time they are doubling my dosage to 100mg. (Say a prayer for my husband.) On Tuesday, I'll go back for some more blood work and to see how my follicles are maturing. If the nurse thinks that I am ready to ovulate, then I will be given a HCG shot (booster shot) to have a nurse friend administer that night at home. If not, then because it will be the week of Thanksgiving and they will be closed next Thursday and Friday, I will have to wait another month to administer the trigger shot. I wasn't very enthused by this but sometimes that's how it goes. We continue to pray for that sweet baby we know the Lord has planned for us. For now, we may not understand why but we know that this process is apart of His plan and we will trust in Him.

These Ecards are on point!

"When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"
                                      -Lauren Daigle